Unaccepted Love - Part 1

Rating : K +

Summary : Just a boy who loves his bestfriend very much, even he knew it wouldn't return 

Pairing : You will know 

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Part 1

            I couldn’t sleep. As time passed bye, clock walked hour by hour. It’s 3 am now. 7 hours to go, and all be vanished. I would be breakdown. I didn’t know still I could see the beautiful day if my beautiful person, the one and only of my love would be taken by somebody else’s forever. Tomorrow was his wedding’s day to his beloved girl. And I didn’t know still I could smile. Well, I should. I had to be happy for him, for their happiness. God, why should I love him!? The one I shouldn’t love. The one I couldn’t love. Why? But that the way it was. I loved him, and it still now, even I knew he’s not for me, and he never loved me!

            It started years ago, when I started my senior high school in Summerhill College, when I was 13 years old. I was a peasant boy who came to a big school with thousand students. It was so dreading. I never saw a lot of student before. But then, that’s my school anyway, and I had to spent there for at least 6 years. So I had to get used to it.

            My first day school wasn’t cool. I had no friend. My old friend didn’t go there, so I was alone, on this big, strange school. It always intimidated me how many there were; I often felt lost amongst them all. For a shy thirteen-year-old, it wasn't the ideal place, but as long as I kept my head down and my mouth shut, nobody bothered me. And there I caught some lad. He was same year with me. He had brown hair, shorter than me, but cute. He’s good looking. He has beautiful eyes in the world, so baby blue, more than mine. I don’t know what it is. Well won’t think that I would attract to a boy. But he’s different. He had something that kept my eyes on him. Then I started to watch him.

            His name was Kian Egan, and as we at the same class, I knew that he was smart, nice lad, and so confident. I thought it would be cool if I could be his friend and hang out with him. But he was always hang-out with some lad named Shane Filan, even he was a year above us. Shane was short, shorter than Kian, and sometimes he carried bag which bigger than his body. Poor Shane.

            My dream of being his friend was vanished all that way, when finally he knows me. The fact, Kian was so annoying. He was constantly telling jokes which weren't funny, oh yes, and with Shane he’s picking on me whenever the opportunity arose. I wished I confident enough to answer back, but I wasn't, so I had to stand there and suffer whatever amusing 'observation' Kian came out with. It wasn’t fun and cool. I started to hate him, and more hated for seeing him very close to Shane. Jealous? I didn’t know. I decided to move back from him.

            Until one day, a year later, when I walked home, I saw some lads picking some kid who obviously shorter than them and the weak one. I just watched, not to dare to step forward to help him. I’m not going to be an hero. I had problem enough with Kian who always picking me up for his annoying jokes and bully me. They gave him several punched and a kicked then left him on the ground. But I have to shock as I know who the poor lad is.  It was Kian. And it was hard to understand, that Kian who always bullied me, indeed got bullied by another lads!

I smiled cheekily, and thought ‘Well, Kian, you got what you have to got.’

I didn’t help him. I satisfied enough to see him suffered.

           

But it didn’t happen once. I more often saw him get bullied and got bruised and bleeding at the end. It constantly happened when he was alone. ‘Where’s Shane, who always there with him?’ I thought myself as I saw him, couldn’t defending himself!

Till one day, I found him half conscious on street with bruises and bleeds.

    “Kian?”

He was stirring weakly. And groaned as he saw me, “No, leave me alone!”

    “Let me help you.”

    “Fuck off!”

    “Yeah, but I wouldn’t let you lay here bleeding.”

Kian realized his nose hasn’t stop to bleed.

    “It had to stop.  It’s 10 pm, dark and cold, Kian. Let me help you, get you some place.”

Kian still annoying.

    “Let me help you, or you want to stay here till tomorrow morning. It’s your call.”

Once again, Kian groaned and knew I’m his best things for him now.

    “Take me to that café,” with pointing a café at the corner street. “It’s Shane’s café.”

I just nodded and help him to stand up.

    “What are you doing at this time, why wouldn’t you with Shane?” as I carried him walked.

    “I was seeing my girl friend.”

    “Oh,” that’s my answered, not to dare to ask again, and carried him to the café.

At Carlton Café, and we got inside.

   “Jesus, Kian, what the hell happened to you?” Shane was on his café tables doing something in shock as we threw in.

   “Usual story. Beaten up again,” Kian was matter of fact about it. “Mark found me on the street.”

Shane looked at me with smiling, “Well thanks, Mark.”

I just smiled. “Oh, you have antiseptic? The blood should stop.”

    “Yeah, sorry, Ki,” Shane went to the medicine box.

Kian looked me with puzzles, but I ignored. Then I went to refrigerator and opened, “Mind you?”

    “No, of course,” answered Shane, letting me took some ice from there, then back to Kian. “Here you go, Ki,”

I back with the ice and I put it some to a serviette I found, and handed to Kian.

    “Thanks,” then he put to his bruises, while Shane wipes the blood from his nose and lips.

    “Aw!” Kian yelped.

    “Sorry,” Shane smirking.

I just stood and watched them how closed they are.

    “Want me to call your dad to pick you up?” Shane offered.

    “NO! It wouldn’t any good you called him. It will be the same. He would say ‘Be a man! You should have fought back!’ No don’t call him!”

I had to smirked but tried not to. But he caught my smirked.

    “Right. Laugh at me, Feehily. You may laugh. Laugh at loud as you want!”

    “Why should I?”

    “Oh c’mon. You bet want to laugh. Laugh at me. Me, as the fact is nothing just a bunch of looser! Being bullied and my dad wouldn’t even stand over me!”

    “I won’t!”

    “Yeah, really,” he didn’t believes.

I took a deep breath, then think that I should leave. Maybe he’s embarrassed at me.

    “I’m sorry, I have to go,” I picked up me bag.

It’s only a few step to the door as I heard he called me.

    “Feehily.”

    “Yeah?” and turn back, facing him.

    “Thanks anyway,”

     “Sure, no probs.”

He smiled.  My heart pounding ‘God! That smiled. Never knew he had a lovely smile.’

    “Can we hang out again? That if you had forgive me,” he asked shyly.

I smiled. “Yeah, of course, I’d forgive you, not a big deal. Sure we can hang out, if you want to.”

He grinned, “Great!”

    “Ok, see you tomorrow at school.”

    “Ok.”

So since then we came closer again, and he didn’t bully me, even still sometime he was annoyed me with some unfunny joke. But his own bullied kept continues, and we can’t do anything to help him. He even had ask his mum to let him on boarding, but his mum didn’t let him and want him to face it as a man. So he through 2 hell years with them. Until it stop by it self. I fell so sorry for him, even I know the lads who done that to him was about jealous of his talented. Well he went to music class, and very good in playing some instrumental, had a great voice-his rocky voice, had his own rock band, he went to dancing and performance class, where I went too with Shane. Ok, I could sing, but Shane was the best! He had a great voices and he loved to sing. I’m sure he would be a singer someday, which I wouldn’t dare to imagine to myself. Well, Kian and Shane had the same passion. Passion on music. Kian was on rock passion and Shane was on pop passion. And me… I’m not that passion, but yes I loved to sing too. And my fav. ever was Mariah Carey, she was the one who got over my head and my dream! I had to tell you, they two just like a glue, stick together anywhere, forever!

TBC

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