Rating : K+
Summary : just a boy who loves his bestfriend very much even he knew it wouldn't return
Pairing : you will know
Review : Please do .... :)
ENJOY and hope you like it
Part 5
After
I told him, the things seemed go easily. He didn’t bother with me love him, and
still we hang out together. We even go out together a lot more, well if he was
not with his girl. But I know we out just as a friend nothing more and I accept
it. He made me a lot easier. He even pushed me to tell the lads. Oke, just
lads, not public. And I did it. I told them and my family, but not what I’m
feeling to Kian. To my surprised, they all accepted it. Accepted with open
heart and still seeing me as an old Mark Feehily. They still loved me, and they
didn’t kick me out from Westlife! That so relieved me because I was begin to
like of being a boyband member. A lot of money, nice clothes, and good riding. And
I helped my parents supporting my two young brothers Barry and Colin. Well, as
the oldest, I thought I had to do that. Big brother, though!
And
the lads were great, even Louis! I knew after his experience with Stephen
Gately from boyzone who shocked him with the words ‘I’M GAY’, he more calmed of
taking me. Maybe it was a cursed; one of his golden boy was a gay; me and
Stephen, he..he..he.., sorry Lou.
And after my come out, we made a friend with
some lads gay, and making a performance in the gay pub, and… come to ‘Gay Award’.
I knew, not only girls who screamed of us,
but also guys. And what shocked me was when I know their ‘Most Golden Boy’
among us (westlife) who ‘lovable’ and‘ fuckable’ was… Kian! They loved him very
much. It was true, I didn’t make it. He even got an offer a million pound for
one night stand. That man would love to
spend a lot of money just for one night with Kian! Of course Kian said no! Hello, I’m who gay, not him! Even guy
loved him, not me! Nobody like and love me. What a suck! Well that’s him, the
most lovable guy in this planet (doo…), everybody loves him! That’s why I love
him even more.
The
things were still fine. Kian was still nice to me. Even now he was lot more thinking
about my feeling, especially when love involved. He asked my permission for him
to love some girl. If was it okay with me? Well I don’t know. I happy enough
when finally he broke up with his former girlfriend Jessica, and being a single
for a year. But when he met again with that little girl Jodi Albert, the member
the girlband ‘Girl Thing’, that made him happy. She was three years younger
than us and I know he had love her years ago, and had asked her to go out, but
Simon stopped them, because well Westlife and ‘Girl Thing’ were in the same
management, and he didn’t allowed that! (how cruel!). So when ‘Girl Thing’ finally
broke up, Kian asked her to go out and she said yes. And now Kian asked my
permission to let him say love to her. What should I do? I couldn’t say no. I
wanted him happy. Happy with anybody he loved. So I just said yes and go on,
tell her; tell her that you love her. And you must see how happily his face
when he had done that. He told her when they got holiday in Barbados, 2003.
their pictures all over the paper, showed how madly in love they are. I knew
that he love her so much, and I hope Jodi loves him as well too. Not used him
just he is in WESTLIFE, and not only of his money. Screwed her, if she did!!
Over my dead body!!
*** ### ****
It
had a year and a half he’s dating with that little girl, and had announced it
to the public. Now she had known as a Hollyoaks star (you know that TV soap
opera) plays Debby Dean. You wouldn’t want to know how my feeling. When
everybody didn’t know my feeling about him. But he’s happy, happy as I never
ever seen. Fans had predict that they will be the third weddings for the Westlife
member, after Nicky had finally married his very long-term sweetheart Georgina
Ahern in France, August 20th 2003, and Shane who had become Kian’s
cousin as he legally being Gillian Walsh’s husband on December 28th 2003
(see I told you, he’s finally become dearest Kian’s cousin and that made them
never apart), and of course Bryan who had marrying Kerry Katona a year ago. But
Kian insisted the wedding’s bell is still long to go. They are both still
enjoyed their good time together, not thinking about married yet, even Kian
admitted that Jodi might be his future wife. ‘Oh, God. I would die when that day really come.’
I
knew Kian was try his best to make me comfort, not to hurt me, even he’s being
with Jodi, his dearest girlfriend. He was so admired her, crazy about her. I
could understand that as I’m crazy about him too. But one I didn’t understand was
the way he tried to make me happy. I mean, he really wanted to made me happy,
and for the grateful of loving him. And he did it at my 24th
birthday, Mei 28th 2004. Ok,
that early year we had been shocked with Bryan departure. When suddenly he
decided to leave the band for being with his family. It tortured him for not
with family for months while his family; his wife and his two beautiful babies (Molly
and Lilie Sue) are waiting at home. We understand his decision and let him go
for his goodness. I swear to God, that was our devastating day. Kian cried,
cried so bad, and think this is his fault. He thought Bryan couldn’t stand any longer
with his bosses and his temperament, even we know that was not true! Bryan
leaved for his family, not because us. We were like brothers after 5 years
together with tears and joy. And now public predict our ending by Bryan
departed. But we insisted that we will still together. Four of us will keep
continue and keep the flag up. We will prove it; we will still make the best
without Bryan. We all, and fans too, would not forget that day, March 9th
2004, the day Bryan leaving.
Ok, back to the line. Kian made something I
wouldn’t forget for my whole life in my birthday.
It
was night after we celebrate my birthday with a small party in the club after
the show. We have missed Kian, not knowing where he goes. But he might be ended
up unconscious in some place with drunk as always. He was a big drinker among
of us, and he’s quite embarrassing when he drunk. He always gets rowdy and mad,
and sometimes he might try to bite you too! Blessed, Jodi, for standing with
him! Well maybe, Jodi as wild as him too... sorry J
So
after the party I went back to my room. A single room like always, as I wanted
to be alone, not sharing with anyone (selfish? might be); Shane of course
shared room with Kian, and Nicky, after Bryan left, he had to have a single
room, no company. We had a great party,
and still in my head the little crazy party they made for me. I smiled to
myself as a walk to my room; I had the best friend in the whole world!
With still smiling, I unlocked the door and get
in. But as soon as I shut the door I could tell that I wasn’t alone. The air
was filled with tension, but still to quite. And I smelled something I
recognized. But I’m not sure. My breathing increased.
“Hello,
who’s there?” with approaching the bedroom. I knew someone sitting in the bed
side.
The more I closer, the more I recognized this
aroma. The perfume and the sweat. I knew it for years!
“Kian, is that you?”
Then suddenly he switched the light on. And
there, he sat on the bedside, half naked, only on his boxer.
“Fuck,
Kian! You scared me to death!” I sight relieved,
with my heart still thumping.
“Hello
Mark,” he smiled cheekily.
“What
are you doing here? I thought you were some where place ended up unconscious
drinking badly, and for remind you this is not your room. It’s mine, alone,”
with little laughing
“Oh, so
that is how you are welcoming your birthday present, Marky? I feel hurt now.”
I frozed. “What?” with puzzled face.
“Happy
Birthday, Mark. I’m your birthday present tonight. We could have a great night
together. Will you unwrap it now?”
I stunned, unbelieved with what I heard.
“Kian…?”
He stand up and stand just a few cm from me, “Do
you still love me, Mark?”
“Still? Always!”
“So do
you want me tonight?”
I more stunned. ‘What this Kian?’
“Take me, Mark. Take me as you want to.”
“You
mean, having a sex with you?”
He nodded, “If that your wish. You can love me
as you want to. I’m yours tonight, Mark”
“What
this fuck, Kian? You make it crazy. Are you drunk?”
“No. I
hold for that tonight just for you. So I could give something for you on my
will, not under the drink.”
His words made me spin. “You are insane, Kian,
out of your mind! You know I will not take you. You are not like me. You don’t
love me, Kian. We can’t do that.”
“Yes,
we can. For tonight I can. I would do anything for you. Want to know the truth?
I love you too,” with smiled cheekily.
I stunned, is
that true? He loved me. But I soon back to reality, “No, you don’t!”
“Well,
ok…I’m lying,” he grinned. “I love you as my dearest brother. But more than my
flesh brothers, Mark! You know that,” give me an angelic smile.
‘God! He
drives me crazy!’
“We
can do this, Mark. If you want too, and I would love to give it. For you,” then
he started to rub my pants, and slide his hand under my thigh and rub it
slowly. It aroused me, it turned me on. He’s getting crazy me out as he touch
my dick, even under the pants, and rub it!. No, it couldn’t like this. I
shouldn’t take this opportunity. He’s my bestfriend, I couldn’t do this. I love
him, and I wouldn’t hurt him, well… hurt me. I don’t want me to get hurt.
“No!
Stop this out, KIAN!! We can’t do this. We won’t do this! You just lowered
yourself, by giving you to me. How could you, Kian!” my anger roused. “I’m not
that mad. I could stand with my feeling, I know I wouldn’t have you, even I
dream that everyday; you truly loving me, but I know it would never happened! I
would never think, you… you giving yourself for me. You.. you.. such a …!” I stopped, not to dare to say it.
He paled. “Spilled it out, Mark!” like he knows
what I’m gonna say. “Such a whore, right? such a slut!?” he was so pale, like someone
hurt him so bad.
“No!”
I devastated. “Get out of here, Kian. Go back to your room, to Shane. Please…”
He watched me with disappointed and hurt.
“I’m
sorry, Mark. I just want to make you happy. I know how it felt, being alone at
birthday, no partner. I just don’t want you to be alone. I just want you happy
on your birthday.” He sighed deeply. “I’m really.. really sorry, Mark.”
I dropped on my knees, ready to cry. It felt my
heart was being ripped. He was just tried to be nice to me. To make me happy.
Why I’m so rude, and this mad? It’s not fair for him!
Then he took he clothes on again. And he walked
to the door sadly.
“Happy
Birthday, Mark,” and opened the door.
“No…
please, Kian… stay,” I almost cried, before he through that door.
He stopped, and turn back to me.
“Please stay with me, for tonight. I don’t want to be alone on my
birthday in this cold room.”
He smiled, then closed the door and walked back
to me. Hugged me tide.
“I’m
sorry, Kian. I shouldn’t say that.”
“It’s
okey Mark. I’m sorry too. Obviously I didn’t know you. I was so fool. I’m
sorry.”
“I
just couldn’t slag with anyone who didn’t want me dearly.”
He just smile. “I know, I’m sorry. You really
have a pride.”
I just sigh and looked at him.
“So
what now?” he asked.
“Nothing. Mind you if I spent tonight just staring you, starring your
beautiful eyes. I didn’t have much time being only with you. Let me enjoy this
night. Feel that you are for me?”
He shook with smile, “No. My pleasure to spent
this night with you.”
So we spent the night just starring each other,
not doing anything, or even touching in the private area. But he let me to kiss
his lips. That soft and sweetest lips.
Then he sang a song….
♫ A smile to
put you on a high, a kiss that sets your
soul apart. Would it be alright, if I spent tonight, being loved you ♫.
It was ‘To Be Loved’ our song from our third
album ‘World of Our own’. I loved it.
I just smiled and listened his lovely voice. It
make me feel that he was for me. Have not to share with Jodi. Thanks, Ki, you
made my birthday beautiful and unforgettable. Love you, love you so much.!
It’s
crazy isn’t? Kian made that for me. Well, that’s him. He really the nicest
person, I ever met. He really wanted to make everybody around him happy and
comfort. And that made me don’t get, why some people said that he was rude, and
so big head. If you said that, that’s mean you don’t even know him. He was so nice and sometime so mature. I love
him dearly.
TBC
Please Review.... :)
No comments:
Post a Comment